Making an Apology

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Posted on Tuesday, April 5th 2011 by  
4 Comments 
filed under: communication
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Many of you, like me, may have been affected the the Epsilon data breach. It has impacted on dozens of businesses who make use of their marketing services, including companies like Target, Marriot, Hilton Hotels, Best Buy, JP Morgan, Capital One, and the list goes on…

I received my first apology email today – one of the above businesses had an account for me. While no financial details were lost, my email address (and perhaps postal address?) were disclosed. More than that, my relationship as a previous customer was disclosed. It is worthy of note that in the UK, this is a serious issue for a bank (customer relationships are afforded special confidentiality), but for me it is a serious issue full stop.

The apology I received, in my opinion, fell far short of what I would expect. As a minimum I look for:

  • A genuine acceptance that what happened was wrong.
  • In as far as is reasonable, an explanation of what went wrong and why
    (i.e. does the offender understand? Is it under control?) –     Not everyone agrees with this one.
  • A commitment to a) put it right and b) ensure that it doesn’t happen again (i.e. lessons learnt).

Sorry should go beyond words. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, so I personally like to see some commitment to action – or as we said to our kids around here, sorry means “I won’t do it again.”

I’m not alone. Here are some thoughts on what should be in an apology from some good friends on twitter:

ear1grey
@benjaminellis An apology should be personal, recognise the error, take responsibility for it, and explain steps taken to avoid a repeat

shefaly
@benjaminellis Ack of the problem without passing blame, clear scope of the problem, how it’s being resolved. Then follow-up on resolution.

Modoufox
@benjaminellis sincerity, empathy, and an implied commitment to move forward in the relationship/avoid doing this again. #2centsworth

mistergough
@benjaminellis A genuine, honest and singular admittance of guilt.

tartancat
@benjaminellis The word ‘sorry’ in a genuine, heartfelt tone, and some offer to make amends for the wrong-doing.

ravinar
@benjaminellis 1) acknowledgement of issue 2) steps to ensure does not happen again 3) gesture of goodwill.

williamheath
@benjaminellis Acknowledgement, remorse, some sort of restitution. All wrapped in courtesy and humanity. Explanation/excuse not needed.

rachelbeer
@benjaminellis the word ‘sorry’ is too often left out, which I always think makes it look reluctant/like person isn’t *really* apologising
Thank you also to talktojimmer ExemplasPenny amygreg girlygeekdom JamieSpafford GaryDickenson marketurner IAmKat drbexl and wisdomlondon for their answers. The best answer goes to James:

“The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”  P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs.

Which put me in my place :). Apologies should be given, not demanded.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Pings & Trackbacks On This Post

How to making a business apology - rights and wrongs | Creative Agency Secrets said on May 6th, 2011 at 6:01 am    

[...] a read of Benjamin Ellis on fine form writing about “Making an Apology”. He writes “as a bare minimum I [...]

3 responses to this post so far

  • drbexl says:
    April 5, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Hi Benjamin
    Still getting a few responses direct to my Twitter account, it’s obviously a topic that everyone has an opinion about! The latest was ‘the hope of reconciliation’
    Bex

    Reply
  • Wendy Hoechstetter says:
    April 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Hi, Benjamin,

    Thank you for your post; I quite agree.

    Aside from my growing horror at how many of these things have been pouring into my email, the main issue I’ve been left with is wondering what the heck these companies are all doing to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

    And how do they *know* that the only information gathered was our email addresses and names, and not more detailed financial and/or medical information?

    The added worry, of course, is what the breachers are in fact going to do with my information.

    The recommendation to just not open attachments from whomever doesn’t cut it as the sole solution offered. Those of us with even half a clue already know not to do that.

    Wendy Hoechstetter, CAPS
    Hoechstetter Interiors

    Reply
  • Rebecca Caroe says:
    April 12, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    Thanks for sharing this – it seems we’re a like minded group out there. Being treated in the Charles Kingsley “Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by” manner seems the bare minimum in a situation like this.
    [I looked it up and Wikipedia calls the ‘ethic of reciprocity’ a Golden Rule http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Rule

    But hey, I got mad at Linked In’s Reid Hoffman sending me a spammy email congratulating himself on recruiting millions of members (it had no unsubscribe link) which was crass as the founder of a connecting together networking organisation who set out to try to avoid spammy approaches by non-trusted third parties.

    Reply
  • How to making a business apology - rights and wrongs | Creative Agency Secrets says:
    May 6, 2011 at 6:01 am

    [...] a read of Benjamin Ellis on fine form writing about “Making an Apology”. He writes “as a bare minimum I [...]

    Reply
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